I can’t think of a more important topic to write about than this. If you want to thrive in this world and do great things; If you want to have an impact on people’s lives; If you want be happy and live stress-free: You have to stop caring what other people think of you. It’s absolutely necessary to freely express yourself. It’s the only way to be an originator, a leader, and a creator.
Unfortunately, it’s difficult to stop caring about people’s opinions. It’s in our nature to want to fit in and be accepted by our peers. There is a certain comfort that comes along with feeling accepted. However, if this desire to be accepted becomes the driving force in your life, you will become a watered down version of yourself, frightened to do anything that might attract criticism.
And that’s not what you want, is it? But, we’ve all been afraid to express ourselves at some point in our lives. If you haven’t been afraid to show the world something you’ve created, you’re probably not taking enough chances. The act of creating requires you to stand out from the pack and be an individual…voluntarily. This takes guts, the kind of guts that all Mancredible readers should strive to have.
2 things to remember next time you start to worry about someone’s opinion…
1. Nobody cares about you as much as you – People are extremely self-centered. And it makes sense: we’re trapped in our bodies and being ‘you’ is all that ‘you’ know. Everyone is living in their own first person shooter, and so we spend all of our time thinking about ourselves. In fact, most criticism people give is merely a reflection of how they feel about themselves.
So, next time you start to worry what someone is thinking about you, remind yourself that they are most likely thinking about themselves, that they have better things to do than think about you. Keep it in perspective, what may have felt like a big deal in your life probably meant very little in their lives.
2. Worrying is pointless – Worrying what someone thinks about you is faulty on three fronts. First, you don’t even know what they think of you or why they feel that way. Second, there is little you can do to change their opinion of you. Third, you shouldn’t care about their opinion anyways, worry about living up to your own standards, not theirs.
By time it’s gotten far enough for you to be worrying, it’s probably too late. There’s never a reason to regret the past because it can’t be changed. And there’s never a reason to worry about the future because you can’t control the future. All that you control is what you do now, in this moment.
7 ways to stop caring what other people think
1. Stop second-guessing yourself. Think before you act, but when you act, be decisive and move on with your life. There is no reason to playback events over and over, ruminating over whether you made the right decision. Put everything in perspective and ask yourself whether it will matter in 1 month. Chances are that it won’t, so let it be.
2. Stop letting others’ opinions influence your self-worth and confidence. As long as you seek external validation in the form of praise, admiration, compliments, awards, etc, you will never be secure in yourself. As long as you are alive, someone will hold a negative opinion of you, and the more successful you are, the more this is true. You can’t control opinions, so why let them control the way you feel?
3. Practice putting yourself ‘out there’. Instead of waiting until the game is on the line, why not practice putting yourself in tough situations that don’t matter so you can develop a tough skin? Start conversations random girls, throw yourself into the center of a dance circle, write an article and share it with people. Make yourself vulnerable now so that you can have immunity to criticism when you really need it.
4. Those that truly care will always support you. You should never be afraid to express yourself because those who are there for you will still be there for you. The other people don’t matter.
5. Accept the fact that you will make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. And even if you were perfect, you can’t control the outcomes to your actions. And even if you could control the outcomes, you still can’t control people’s reactions to them. And if you control everything, congratulations, you are God and I’m honored to have you as a reader.
6. Focus on your success. There’s always a bright spot somewhere in your life, find it and use it to empower you to do things that scare you.
7. Extinguish fear by taking action. Ever found yourself dreading a phone call? You put it off and worry. You find other things that allow you to procrastinate. Then you finally force yourself to call, expecting the worst….and it really isn’t so bad. You could have saved yourself a lot of stress by taking immediate action. Doing something has a way of quieting the negative voice inside of you. Next time you are worried about someone’s opinion, instead of worrying about it, do something about it. Talk to them, talk to someone else, write about it in a journal, do something you love to do so you can move past it. Anything is better than thinking about it and getting stressed out.
I highly recommend you implement some of the above tips in your life so that you can develop self-confidence like a rock and really start living carefree. To start your training, pick one of the following and do it today:
-Introduce yourself to someone you don’t know and have a 5 minute conversation
-Get the phone number of a girl you think is out of your league
-Go to a public place and yell at the top of your lungs, then just stand there and allow everyone to look at you
Practice putting yourself out there. Build your “I don’t give a shit” muscle. Do it now.
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(This article was written by me (Scott) but originally posted on another website. Now it’s here)